A Different View on Reality
by Midnight-Gypsy101
Summary: What if Jess had stayed after Liz's wedding? How will things change now Jess is back in Stars Hollow, and how will Rory react. Rory/Jess Pairing as always but with plenty of SH residents thrown into the mix. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- I thought of this after watching 'Luke can see her face'**

**Description: What if Jess had stayed after Liz's wedding. How will things change with Jess now living in Stars Hollow again?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the characters associated with the show.**

**A Different View on Reality**

**Chapter One: Small Town Charm.**

Jess heaved a sigh as he prepared to walk his mother down the aisle, a task which he desperately didn't want to do, and yet here he was reaching out and taking her arm, not responding to the proud smile she gave him as he led her down the aisle towards her soon to be husband.

Jess had to admit, however annoying T.J was, he was better than all the other guys Liz had married, and dated in the past. He may not openly show it but he was pleased his mother had finally got her life together; it had taken her long enough. Then again here he was almost 19 and his life was going nowhere, he'd lost all sense of direction, he was living in New York, in a grotty apartment where he slept on a filthy mattress on the floor. Working as a messenger all hours of the day and night, any hope of a decent path in life was thrown away when he'd left Stars Hollow to find his father. Which had proved to be a waste of time, and the part that killed him the most, was that he'd left Rory behind, without so much as a goodbye.

Getting to the end of the aisle, Jess passed his mothers arm over to T.J, and kissed her cheek. Before taking his seat next to Luke, as soon as he was sat down his heart skipped a beat, across the street there was Rory, watching the festivities from what he assumed she thought was a safe distance. Her eyes locked with his and she stood frozen for a few seconds before bolting down the road. For a split second he considered chasing after her, but the ceremony had started and there would be nothing but lectures and yelling if he left now. He heaved a sigh and focused on the wedding. Soon finding he was trying desperately to stop himself laughing, a task which was made harder by the stifled laughter of his Uncle next to him, and the elder Gilmore next to Luke.

'Stop laughing.' Jess whispered harshly, smirking as T.J mentioned the tights again.

'Can't' Luke shook his head, failing to contain his laughter.

'Think of something really horrible, Famine, Death, Grease 2.' Lorelai said laughing as she whispered the words.

'Not working.' Luke replied.

'You,' Lorelai pointed at Jess. 'Say something to stop us laughing.'

'I want to move back to Stars Hollow.' Jess said staring straight ahead. Lorelai and Luke both stared at him open mouthed, neither of them laughing now. As Luke was about to respond the vows came to an end, and he had to focus his attention back on his sister's wedding.

'Jess wait up. 'Luke called following him across the square after the wedding party was winding down, Jess was heading back to the diner after saying goodbye to his mom, who'd left with T.J for their honeymoon.

'Yeah?' Jess turned to face his uncle, knowing what this was going to be about.

'What you said during the ceremony, about moving back, did you mean it?'

'Yes.'

'Why would you want to move back here?' Luke asked.

'I guess the small town charm won me over.' Jess said raising his arms up and letting them fall back to his side.

'Be serious.' Luke warned, 'This is the second time now you've come to me asking to come back, I want a pretty good reason.'

'Have you seen my life? I know you've seen my apartment, well my life is a worse mess than that, and the only time I ever felt even the slightest bit in control, the slightest bit like I could actually achieve something with my life, is when I was here.' Jess burst out.

'You can achieve something.' Luke responded. 'You can come back, have your old bed, at least it has a frame which is a step up from your current place, you'll have to pay rent, and get a job.'

'I will.' Jess promised. 'First thing in the morning I'll look for a job, and I'll help out in the diner.'

'Ok then.' Luke nodded.

'Thank you, I appreciate this.' Jess nodded awkwardly.

'Just tell me one thing, what you were saying about Rory? Does she have anything to do with you moving back?' Luke asked.

'For some reason she has a role in every decision I've made since meeting her.' Jess shook his head. 'I won't cause her any trouble though, I'm not here to hurt her, or mess with her.'

'Good.' Luke nodded again. 'Go and get yourself settled in, I need to walk Lorelai home.'

'Yeah, what's up with that, are you two on a date or something?' Jess asked with a smirk.

'That's none of your business.' Luke replied turning away.

!

'So what's the deal? Is he moving back here? Or was it some sort of unfunny joke he was pulling.' Lorelai asked as Luke walked her home.

'He's moving back here.' Luke said keeping his head straight forward.

'What! Why? I thought he was happy in New York.' Lorelai said raising her voice slightly.

'He's far from happy, I can see it, he's messed up, but at least he seems to know he needs help, so he's asked to come back because he wants to sort his life out.'

'Well at least he's being responsible, that's something I guess, and you really think he's unhappy? It's so hard to tell what he's thinking.

'I know he's unhappy, he must be to want to move back here.' Luke replied.

'I guess,' Lorelai nodded slowly, letting the new information sink in. 'How am I going to tell Rory.'

'Like a band-aid, do it quickly.' Luke suggested.

!

Rory pushed her study books off her lap, letting some of them tumble to the floor as the phone rang. Hopping up she knocked over a bowl of chocolate covered raisins, but managed to grab the phone before the caller rang off.

'Rory?' The voice was so familiar to her, and it stopped her heart hearing him speak her name, a blush rose in her cheeks as she steadied her breathing.

'Hey.' Rory spoke quietly.

'Sorry to call so late, I just got in from the wedding and I needed to tell you something, I think it should come from me.' Jess said cautiously.

'Ok, go ahead.' Rory replied, half between happy to hear his voice and half wanting to yell at him for how he left, for how he ran off after telling her he loved her.

'I've asked Luke if I can move back here and he's said yes.' Jess said quickly.

'Huh.'

'Isn't that my line?' Jess joked, Rory smiled despite herself.

'Funny.' She said dryly.

'So uh, I just wanted to check it was ok with you, because if it's not I won't stay.' Jess replied, and Rory wondered when he'd become so considerate.

'It's a free country, live where you want, it doesn't bother me.' Rory replied.

'Ok. So, how are you?' Jess asked.

'Don't do that, you've called to tell me your moving back and I appreciate it I really do, and I've told you I'm ok with it, but don't start making small talk, I can't just forget everything that happened.' Rory shouted.

'I know, I'm sorry, for everything that's happened and everything I did wrong which was basically everything.' Jess said sincerely. The tone of his voice softened her a little.

'I'm fine, college is crazy but I love it. How are you?' Rory conceded.

'I'm better than I was last week.' Jess said evasively. 'I'm glad you like college.'

'So was that it?' Rory asked.

'Yeah, unless of course you know of any jobs going?' There was a pause for a few seconds.

'Andrew is hiring at the bookstore.' Rory offered him the information.

'Thanks.'

'Sure, ok so see you round I guess.' Rory replied.

'See you round Rory.'

'Oh and Jess.'

'Hmm?'

'Welcome home.' Rory said hanging the phone up.

!

'Honey?' Lorelai called; spotting Rory on the couch she walked over and sat down next to her, taking off her painful heels and throwing them across the room. 'Rory, I have something to tell you.'

'Jess is moving back to Stars Hollow.'

'Wow! How did you do that, because that was seriously impressive?' Lorelai said wide eyed.

'He called to check it was ok with me.' Rory replied.

'And is it ok with you?'

'Yeah, I mean he can live wherever he wants, it doesn't bother me, we've been broken up for a while, and it doesn't bother me.' Rory replied.

'Good.' Lorelai said.

'I'm sleepy so I'm going to head to bed; I have to be back at school tomorrow afternoon.' Rory kissed her mom's cheek, and then headed to bed. Falling asleep thinking of Jess.


	2. Book Buyers Annonymous

**A/N- I thought of this after watching 'Luke can see her face'**

**Description: What if Jess had stayed after Liz's wedding. How will things change with Jess now living in Stars Hollow again?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the characters associated with the show.**

**A Different View on Reality**

**Chapter Two: Book Buyers Anonymous **

It was late Friday afternoon, almost a week after the wedding and since Jess had moved back to the town, it was safe to say that nobody in the town was pleased to have him back, and all eyed him suspiciously.

The sun was shining down warmly as Rory got out of her car, pulling a large book bag behind her; she locked her car door and walked into her house, dropping her bag in the hall.

'Mom?' Rory called out, to figure out if her mom was in the house. There was no answer at first so Rory went into her bedroom and changed from her scruffy jeans and grey sweatshirt and pulled on a knee length cream dress with a pale blue sash round her waist, she brushed her hair and applied a thin coat of clear lip gloss before going into the kitchen to make some coffee. A minute later Lorelai walked in through the back door, yelling as she did.

'I know Babette, it'll all be ready by tomorrow I promise, I know! Bye Babette.' With a sigh Lorelai closed the door and turned around, jumping as she spotted her daughter sat at the table, with a mug of coffee in her hand.

'Jeez, you know how to scare mommy, did I know you were coming?' Lorelai asked.

'Nope, Paris was driving me crazy so I couldn't study and since I was done with classes this afternoon I drove here today to extend the weekend and hopefully get some peace to study.' Rory replied.

'Oh sorry sweets, you came to the wrong place for peace, it's the towns first ever town square carnival and movie re-enactment, one of Taylor's schemes. See there's going to be a carnival with all these different booths selling things, and games to play and then the big finale, there's going to be a re-enactment of; wait for it; Finding Nemo! Because Taylor deemed it appropriate for all ages.' Lorelai smiled, pouring herself some of the coffee Rory had made.

'Ok, sounds just crazy enough to be fun, but what does that have to do with me studying?' Rory asked.

'I'm making costumes, I've got people coming in all evening for fittings, and I have been put in charge of a booth selling candy and before you say it, I warned Taylor that I'd be more likely to eat more than I sell, and Luke warned him but alas he said he needed someone and I was the last option. So I will also be making signs and things to make my booth pretty, oh and Lane and the band are rehearsing in the garage this evening because they will be playing at the festival, and Sookie will be in and out because she's catering the buffet and running a baked goods booth, so she needed more space to work and since her kitchen wasn't big enough and the inn is being used for, well feeding the guests, she'll be using ours as well as hers and running between the two.' Lorelai rambled.

'Wow, sounds like you have a busy evening. I can help later but I need to get some of this studying done first.' Rory replied.

'That's fine, sorry you can't study here though, where will you go?' Lorelai asked.

'Not sure, bookstore maybe.' Rory said standing up and grabbing her book bag.

'Oh the bookstore.' Lorelai nodded uncertainty in her voice. 'By the way, you look especially pretty today; did you drive back in that?'

'No, I changed when I got here.' Rory answered, 'Ok so I'm going to head out, I'll see you later.'

'Ok, see you later.' Lorelai called.

Rory walked through the streets and made her way to one of her favourite places in the town, the bookstore, as she approached she was Jess standing behind the counter, she smiled slightly, pleased he'd got the job, and pushed open the door.

'Hey.' Jess greeted her slightly nervously.

'Hey, so you got the job.'

'Yeah, don't know what Andrew was thinking, but I got it.' Jess shrugged.

'I'm glad, so are you here on your own today?' Rory questioned.

'Yup, I'm very trusted.' Jess smirked.

'In that case I have a favour to ask you, my house is a dressing room, second kitchen and band rehearsal space so I need somewhere quiet to study. I was thinking I could set up in a quiet corner; I'll sit on the floor in the education section, that's the quietest section, especially since everyone is so busy with the festival that it'll probably be quiet in here anyway.' Rory rambled.

'Rory, calm down you don't need to convince me, set up wherever you like.' Jess smirked.

'Thanks.' Rory smiled going over to the corner of the shop, between two stands of books, out of the way of everyone else's view. She sat down with her back against the wall and laid her books out around her on the floor.

Two hours later as the sun started setting Rory was interrupted by Jess coming over.

'Hey, could you keep an eye on the place for a few minutes, I need to run out.' Jess said leaning against the shelf.

'Sure, though I don't think one person has come in all day besides me.' Rory laughed.

'True, I'll be right back.' Jess replied turning and leaving the shop. Rory rested her head against the wall and sighed, closing her eyes. One minute she was mad at him and the next she couldn't stop smiling, and she wanted to hang out with him. Her mind was in chaos.

A few minutes later as promised Jess returned, coming back over to where Rory sat he held out a bag from Luke's and a cup of coffee.

'Figured you could use some dinner.' Jess shrugged.

'Thanks! You want to join me?' Rory asked. 'I could use a break.'

'Sure.' Jess sat down next to her and took his own food out of the bag. 'I'm closing the store in ten minutes, I saw Andrew in the square and he said there really isn't much point staying open.'

'Oh, shall I pack up then?' Rory asked.

'No you can stay for a while; I still need to tidy the place up and a few bits and pieces, including buying the books I put aside that I wanted.' Jess smirked, 'I swear I'm going to spend more than I earn in this place.'

'I know the feeling; we should start up book buyers anonymous.' Rory laughed, taking a bite of her burger.

'The BBA, I like it. We could have weekly meetings.' Jess smirked.

'Ooh and share books to cut down on cost, so we're not buying the same books and paying double what we could be.' Rory agreed.

'Sounds good.' Jess rested his head on the wall, suddenly the atmosphere got tenser, and they both felt it.

'I've missed this.' Rory said sincerely.

'Me too.' Jess nodded his head slowly. 'I've missed you.'

'Yeah well you were the one who left.' Rory snapped back, the anger rising again.

'I know, I've regretted it every day since I left. Can I at least try and explain?' Jess asked.

'I don't know why I should let you; I can't see any explanation being good enough.' Rory crossed her arms over her chest.

'You're probably right, but I'd like to explain.'

'Fine, explain.' Rory said keeping her gaze away from him.

'I was messed up when I left, I wasn't graduating, my father had just shown up after almost 18 years, my life was falling apart around me, the only good thing I had going was you and I didn't deserve you, I was well on the way to messing that up too, and so I ran. It's what I always do when things get tough, a kneejerk reaction to failure. I couldn't let you down; see the disappointment on your face.

I know what I did was wrong, I never should have left, especially without telling you, but in my head I thought I was doing what was best.' Jess tried to explain.

'You could have called.' Rory said, 'Then you wouldn't have seen my face.'

'I did call, a few times, never said anything it was just too hard, as soon as I heard your voice, and then you yelled at me the day of your graduation and I just felt so; broken; that I stopped calling.' Jess replied, Rory felt tears stinging her eyes.

'It hurt, for so long it hurt. You broke my heart Jess.'

'I'm so sorry; if it helps at all I'm pretty sure I broke my own as well.' Jess said honestly.

'So after everything why'd you decide to come back? Wouldn't it have been easier to make a clean break, surely this place isn't the best place to go.' Rory said.

'I came back for you, I always do don't I.' Jess smiled sadly. 'I know there's nothing between us, but maybe someday we can be friends, I hope I haven't lost all hope.'

'I don't know.' Rory replied. 'Maybe.'

'I just want you to know that I'm trying to be better, and that's all down to you, you're perfect and wonderful and you deserve better than what I gave you, I mean you're the most amazing beautiful girl I have ever known, it's no wonder I'm so in love with you.' Jess said, he hadn't meant to say any of it but it slipped out, and he regretted it the minute it was out. Rory stared at him wide eyed, within seconds she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Jess was shocked but kissed her back. A few seconds later she pulled back quickly, tears falling from her eyes.

'Oh my...I just. I'm sorry.' Rory grabbed her things and got to her feet before Jess could work out what had happened.

'Rory it's ok.' Jess stood up alongside her. Tears were pouring down her face as she pulled her arm away from his hand as he held her lightly.

'No! No it's not ok! You broke my heart and then you just walk back in here and suddenly I'm falling at your feet. I can't be that girl, I'm sorry I shouldn't have kissed you, just pretend it never happened.' Rory said running out of the store and all the way home. Slamming the door behind her she screamed out.

'Stupid! Stupid!' She yelled banging her hands against the door. She turned around and saw Lorelai, Sookie and Lane watching her.

'Honey what happened?' Lorelai asked pulling her daughter into the lounge and sitting her down, Lane and Sookie followed.

'Nothing.' Rory lied, wiping her eyes with her hands.

'Of course, I frequently beat up my door while calling myself stupid and crying.' Lane said unconvincingly.

'I'm just really, really stupid that's all.' Rory said shaking her head.

'Don't tell Yale.' Lorelai joked.

'Mom!'

'Sorry, I just don't know what to say since you won't tell me what happened.' Lorelai rolled her eyes.

'I kissed Jess.' Rory said looking down, the three others looked between one another wide eyed, mouths hanging open.

'Sorry you what?' Lane asked.

'I kissed Jess.' Rory yelled.

'Sweetie, I thought you were just studying.' Sookie said in confusion.

'I was! I went to the bookstore and studied for hours and then he brought me food and coffee, and we were just talking and laughing and then we were talking about everything that happened and he apologised and he was so sweet and then he; well and I; it's just that he's so,'

'Full sentences honey.' Lorelai prompted.

'I was stupid, It never should have happened, I was caught up in the moment and it just happened and I won't let it happen again.' Rory replied. 'I was momentarily crazy.'

'Uh-huh.' Lane nodded.

'It didn't mean anything.' Rory yelled.

'I'm sure it didn't' Lorelai sighed.

'It didn't!' Rory insisted. 'I hate him! He broke my heart, he took it and smashed it into a million pieces, I've never hurt so much, I can't forgive him for that. I hate him.' Rory yelled, jumping up and going to her room, closing the door behind her she fell onto the bed and cried.

A/N – Hope you like it, sorry if Jess is bit OOC. I'd love to hear your thoughts as always so please review.


	3. Please Don't Walk Away From Me

**A/N- One million apologise for not updating in so long, I've been busy, lame excuse I know, sorry. Please review.**

**Description: What if Jess had stayed after Liz's wedding. How will things change with Jess now living in Stars Hollow again?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the characters associated with the show.**

**A Different View on Reality**

**Chapter Three: Please don't walk away from me**

Over the next few weeks Rory avoided coming back to stars hollow at the weekends because she didn't want to deal with her feelings for Jess, it would all be too hard to figure out, so instead she started going away at the weekends with friends, or meeting her mom and having a weekend away somewhere. Though Lorelai had tried to talk to her about it, she had refused to listen or respond. Now six weeks later she finally got the courage to come back, the decision made almost entirely because she wanted to see Jess, she found that avoiding him made her think about him just as much if not more than when she was around him. So making the decision that she had to deal with it she came home for the weekend and headed straight to the bookstore, finding it empty except for Jess who was leaning against one of the shelves reading one of the books he was suppose to be putting out on the shelves.

'They'll not sell that way.' Rory said nervously, Jess turned to face her putting the book down.

'I thought you'd forgotten your way here.' Jess said dryly.

'You're mad at me?' Rory was annoyed, he didn't have any right to be mad at her, he was the one who'd left not her.

'Nope, the kissing me and running off thing is getting familiar though.' Jess said turning back to his work.

'Why do you get to be mad at me? I was confused and I needed to leave, we weren't together or anything so it's none of your business if I decided to stay away for a while, you hurt me Jess!'

'I know I did and I'm sorry for that, but guess what Rory you're not always the only one getting hurt. Do you think it's easy for me coming back here?'

'Nobody asked you to come back.' Rory shouted.

'No they didn't I made the decision to come back because I love you and I decided that I wanted to see you, even if there couldn't ever be anything between us again, I wanted to come back here because this is the one place where I actually had a grip on reality!' Jess said slamming a book down on the table. 'Then you go and kiss me and suddenly run off and everything feels like it's been ripped out!'

'I didn't mean for it to happen.' Rory said defensively. 'You're messing with my head just as much as I am with yours, every time I see you recently you seem to tell me you love me and I don't know what you're hoping to achieve.'

'I'm not aiming to achieve anything in particular; I just wanted you to know.' Jess shrugged.

'Well I know ok so stop saying it.' Rory leaned against a shelf and slid her back down it until she was sat on the floor. 'This is all so stupid.'

'What is? The fact that we can't seem to talk to each other for more than a minute without it turning into a row.' Jess said grimly, Rory looked up and watched him working for a while trying to work out what she was going to say next.

'So let's try something simpler.' Rory said crossing her legs beneath her. 'What are you reading at the moment?'

'Fathers and Sons.' Jess replied with a smirk.

'Ah a Russian novel, I love that book.' Rory smiled falling into the easy banter that they'd always had, keeping him company until the store closed, then helping him lock up. He switched the lights off leaving them in darkness.

'Please don't walk away from me.' Rory said suddenly looking up at Jess who was lit up by the moonlight.

'Huh?'

'While I try and work this out.' She indicated the two of them. 'Promise you won't leave.'

'I promise.' Jess replied. 'Even though that statement is messing with my head as much as the kiss did.

'I'm sorry about that.' Rory sighed opening the door.

'That's ok, I'm in love with you so you can get away with anything.'

'Jess...' Rory said warningly.

'What you're allowed to come out with a noncommittal sentence as to your feelings, which keeps me on the hook and yet I'm not allowed to express my very permanent, very real feelings.' Jess smirked at her.

'You know I think I preferred it when the most I got out of you was "huh"' Rory sighed walking out of the store.

'Huh.' Jess smirked at her.

'Ok I have to leave now.' Rory turned away from him.

'You don't want to grab something to eat?' Jess asked not wanting to lose her company again.

'I can't be around you right now.' Rory said stepping away slightly.

'Why? I don't turn into some sort of monster after 9.' Jess looked at her in confusion. 'I thought we were having a good time.'

'We are, I am...but I just can't because you're being all charming again and I really want to kiss you.' Rory let the words slip out, slapping a hand over her mouth as she spoke. Jess chuckled at her confession and stepped forwards, kissing her forehead lightly.

'I'll see you round.' Jess said walking towards the diner. Rory watched him go not turning away until he was out of sight, and then headed back to her house.

'Hey where have you been?' Lorelai asked as Rory dropped down onto the couch beside her mother. Rory stared straight ahead and answered the question.

'I went to see Jess, figured I'd avoided him long enough.' Rory answered.

'Oh, how'd that go?'

'He was mad at me.' Rory replied.

'That little punk!'

'He had a right to be mad at me, anyway we spoke and then got into a fight and it all ended with me wanting to kiss him again.' Rory covered her face with her hands.

'Whoa! How do you get from being in a fight to wanting to kiss him?' Lorelai asked.

'Beats me, all I know is that one minute we were fighting and then the next I'm telling him not to leave until I figure out how I feel and he's complaining that I'm messing with his head and then telling me he loves me and then I'm melting and he's being wonderful and then I just...wanted to kiss him.' Rory shook her head. 'There's something seriously wrong with me.'

'Oh honey there isn't anything wrong with you, but you do need to face the fact that Jess has this kind of effect on you and maybe that isn't a bad thing, maybe that's just telling you that you're meant to give him a second chance.'

'This coming from you, the leader and founding member of the "I hate Jess Mariano club" when did you change your tune?' Rory asked running her fingers through her hair.

'Somewhere around the time my daughter founded the "I'm totally in love with Jess Mariano but won't admit it club" or something like that.' Lorelai said lightly, Rory raised her eyebrows at him.

'You're insane.' Rory shook her head. 'Just because I wanted to kiss him, doesn't mean I'm in love with him.' Rory replied. 'I've wanted to kiss him basically since I met him.' She stood up, it seemed to be a habit of hers lately, to say things and then regret it.

'I so didn't need to know that.' Lorelai replied. 'But doesn't that tell you something, you've had feelings for Jess for ages, so why are you fighting so hard this time?'

'Because...there's nothing to fight, I don't love him, I care for him but he broke my heart and I can't let that happen again.'

'Agreed.' Lorelai looks over at Rory who is biting her nails. 'So...what happens now?'

'I try to get over this whole wanting to kiss Jess thing. I want us to be friends, but I don't think I can handle anything else.'

'Then you need to tell him that, because that kid is in love with you and it'd be cruel to string him along.' Lorelai replied.

'Ok...so I tell him I just want to be friends.' Rory nodded. 'I can do that, I'll be back later.'

'You're going now?'

'Why not? Now's as good a time as any.' Rory headed out the door and walked determinedly to Jess', finding him heading out himself.

'Back so soon?' He smiles as her and her resolve falters.

'Uh yeah I wanted to talk.' Rory answers him.

'I was heading to the bridge, you want to come?' Jess asked her, she seems nervous to him and it's worrying him, but he's trying to stay cool.

'Sure.' She nods and falls into step with him, walking through the night streets. They both remain silent until they reach the bridge, he sits down and she follows his lead, sitting inches away from him.

'Rory?'

'Hmm.'

'You wanted to talk, what about?' Jess asks after several minutes of her staring out over the lake. She turns to him and meets his eyes.

'I want to be friends Jess.'

'Ok, I'd like that too.' Jess looks confused for a minute but then catches on. 'Oh, you mean you only ever want to be friends.'

'I...don't think me and you, as a couple, really...work.' She tears her gaze from him, dashing a stray tear away, it feels like she's breaking up with him, but they aren't even together.

'Did I mess things up that badly?'

'No...Jess it's not just about you leaving, I just can't let myself get hurt like that again and you...could do that to me, you have the ability to hurt me so badly and I know you say you won't...but you didn't think you'd leave last time.' Rory's starts shivering as it starts raining heavily, but neither of them move, Jess instinctively takes his leather jacket off and puts it on Rory, she wraps it around her, the smell of coffee and cigarettes mixing together. Her eyes meet his. 'I'll understand if you can't be my friend, if it's too hard.'

'If having you as a friend is the only way I can have you in my life, then it's what we'll do.' Jess answers honestly, his voice is sweet but sad and his eyes hold such unspoken emotion. 'I can't walk out of your life, and I won't let you walk out of mine.'

She's lost for a second, her tears mixing with the rain, she's half expected him to storm off and leave town, or stand here and yell at her about messing him around, but he was being mature, kind and sympathetic. Throwing away all her sense and logic, she leans forward and kisses him, pulling back a few seconds later and resting her head against his forehead, looking into his eyes.

'You're the queen of mixed signals you know that?' Jess smirks, it's impossible to be angry at this girl after she kisses him, however messed up it makes him.

'I'm so sorry, I know I'm being unfair but I'm finding it really hard to stop myself.'

'Then why are you trying?' Jess demands quietly. 'Let me have another chance.'

She stands and backs away and he's immediately on his feet.

'You know that I can't!' She shouts.

'Why not? Rory I'm here, I'm not going anywhere and you can trust me, you can rely on me now! I know you couldn't before but you can now! Give us a chance!'

'No! I can't do it, not again.' Rory shakes her head firmly.

'So this is what it'll be like? You'll be my friend until you feel like kissing me, because honestly Rory that's torture!'

'Then maybe we just need to stay away from each other for a while.' Rory crosses her arms over her chest. 'Because I don't want to hurt you and if my being around you is torture...'

'Rory...' She's turned away and walking towards the town but stops when she hears him call out her name. 'Please don't walk away from me.'

'I'm so sorry Jess.' Rory steps out of sight.

Jess walks into the apartment slamming the door shut, getting Luke's attention from the hockey game he was watching, then Jess walks over to his side of the room and punches a hole in the wall.

'Jess!' Luke shouts angrily. 'What on earth has gotten into you?'

'I can't deal with her! She's so...' He trails off unable to complete that sentence.

'I'm assuming we're talking about Rory.' Luke guesses.

'Who else, you know it's so unfair! I never asked to come here, I never asked to meet her and I certainly never asked to fall in love with her!'

'What happened?' Luke rubs his forehead and looks at his nephew gravely.

'I don't want to talk about it.' Jess drops down onto his bed.

'Are you leaving?'

'No! Why should I? If she doesn't want to see me then too bad, that's her problem and I could care less.' He picks up a book, indicating that the conversation is over.

Rory enters quietly into the house and numbly sits down on the couch next to her mom, soaked to the skin, hugging Jess' jacket around herself. Lorelai is immediately worried, switches off the tv and hugs Rory.

'I've ruined everything, he's never going to speak to me again, any chance of us being friends is gone.' Rory sobbed into her mother's shoulder.

'What happened?'

'I pushed him too hard, I told him we could never be more than friends and he was...kind and he accepted that and he was so sweet, I couldn't help it, I kissed him...'

'Oh Rory, you didn't kiss him and run away again!'

'I didn't run straight away, that would have been better. I stayed and turned him down, he was begging me to give him a chance, he asked me not to walk away and I just...left.' Rory's sobs grew louder. 'I've hurt him so much and now he'll never forgive me.'

'Oh honey, it'll be ok.' Lorelai soothes Rory as she cries herself to sleep.


End file.
